


Of Course We Care

by LauraHill



Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Cancer, Character Death, Depression, I am so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-08
Updated: 2014-07-08
Packaged: 2018-02-08 01:07:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1920879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LauraHill/pseuds/LauraHill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Douglas saw Martin cry he didn't think much about it. If something was wrong, Martin would have told him. Right? So he didn't care. At first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Course We Care

The first time Douglas saw Martin cry was neither spectacular nor did Douglas feel very sorry for him.

It was a cold November morning when Douglas was unusually early at the airfield.  
He was greeted by a cheerful Arthur and an already highly annoyed Carolyn.

“Where's our dear captain?” Douglas asked while sipping a cup of coffee. “He is – in contrast to you – honouring his job as a pilot and doing what he is supposed to do. He already did the walk-around and probably checks the flight plan for the last time.” Carolyn's voice was strained and he should have known that the morning hadn't flown by in peace.

He made his way over to the plane and looked for Martin. He couldn't see him so he climbed into GERTI and made his way over to the flight deck. Douglas heard strange strangled noises from the other side of the door. His eyebrows knitted together in a worried expression.

“Martin? Are you alright?”

He slowly opened the door and saw Martin sitting in the captain's seat.

“Oh, yes Douglas, everything is... is just fine.” His shoulders were shuddering and he wiped across his face. When Douglas reached him he saw that Martin's face was red and swollen.

“Martin? Is there anything wrong?” He saw his captain shake his head.

“Oh, no, as I said, everything is just fine.” Martin's hand shook while he reached for a glass of water he had probably poured himself before his breakdown.

His face grew stoic and he refused to talk to Douglas at all during the flight to Frankfurt that day. Given that Martin refused to talk or participate in any games that Douglas proposed the older man couldn't find it in himself to care. He was not in the best of moods himself and didn't want to burden himself with the petty man's thoughts.

Honestly, he had at least tried to cheer him up.

 

 

The second time was slightly more awkward, but Douglas again didn't find it in himself to really take it to his heart. It was not as if he didn't care for Martin, but he never had a reason to worry about him. When there had been something wrong in the past - that Douglas should worry about - Martin always had talked to him. So when he saw him this time he just assumed things with Theresa had taken a turn for the worse.

Martin sat on a bench not far from GERTI. He held his head in his hands and gripped his hair tightly. Douglas approached him after Carolyn made him search Martin who was late for take off which frustrated Carolyn and the very rich passenger.

“Martin, for heaven's sake, do you want us to get into trouble?! Just move inside already, we're late!”

When Martin didn't move Douglas saw that his shoulders were shaking and he seemed to shiver.

“Martin, pull yourself together! Whatever it is, do you really want to risk losing the passenger to another airline?”

He saw Martin's nod and then his captain slowly stood up.

“Alright... Let's... Let's fly some plane...” He hid his face and walked faster than Douglas had seen him walk in quite some time. Douglas followed him in a slower pace and studied Martin's thin frame.

Had he always been so... gaunt?

 

 

The third time Douglas saw Martin cry they were in a hospital. But this was not the only different thing. Douglas also sat there with red rimmed eyes and he couldn't calm his breath.

And this time, Douglas cared a lot. Arthur had sat beside him most of the day, but Carolyn had decided that he shouldn't see what happened to Martin. It was bad enough that Arthur seemed to already have lost his childlike happiness when he got the news.

Douglas slowly rocked back and forth.

“Why didn't.. Martin, why didn't you tell us?!” His voice was hoarse. Martin's eyes were closed and silent tears ran down his cheek.

“You never seemed to care.” His voice was barely more than a whisper.

“Of course I care! And so do Carolyn and Arthur!” Douglas voice was uncharacteristically quiet.

Martin didn't answer but the tears continued to slide down his cheeks.

“How could you think... that we wouldn't care... that I wouldn't care that you are... dying?!”

He never got an answer to that question, no matter how often he asked. When Martin had quit they had known something was very, very wrong. Three weeks later Carolyn had been called into Fitton's hospital as Martin's emergency contact. Martin had pancreatic cancer. Martin was dying. There was nothing they could do. And when Douglas saw Martin, gaunt, pale, ill-looking Martin, cry in his hospital bed, he cared a lot. He cared so much that he felt as if he was dying as well.

 

 

Three weeks later it was just the three of them crying. Carolyn, Arthur and Douglas. Herc was standing behind Carolyn, trying to act as a moral support of some sort.

It was Martin's funeral.

The service had been horrible on them, and when they faced Martin's mother, they didn't know what to say.

'Did he tell you anything?' she asked.

'Were there any signs?' she asked.

'Don't blame yourself, you couldn't have known.' she said when Douglas told her that no, he had said nothing and no, there were no signs. 

'I just wish he would have confided in someone. That he wouldn't have to go through it all alone.' she said.

Douglas couldn't help but agree, while feeling the burning of self-hatred in his gut. He should have known. There had been signs. He just never took them seriously enough. And now Martin was gone, and there was nothing he could do about it.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how this happened. I am very sorry.  
> Recently there has been a death caused by pancreas cancer by someone I knew, but the story behind her death is way sadder than this story.


End file.
